A Blog Entry B4 We Say HELLO To 2011

Been a LOOooooOONNGG 6 Years.. seriously.

I thought this could be something to get things going again.. but perhaps I’m just too bored. I loved writing but I’ve never really taken it seriously. It’s gonna be a lil bit rusty but here goes nothing.

The weather's pretty bad outside and I'm stuck here on this work barge with practically nothing to do. Offshore bad weather, WOW (waiting on weather) we call it.. with heavy downpours, big waves slamming the barge deck, strong wind blah.. blah.. blah.. before we can all get back to our routines. Well there’s nothing unusual about it, it’s just part and parcel of offshore life. Phone line’s down, paperwork's all done, studied a lil for my assessment next week and there’s just about nothing else to do now. Still A year to go before this is all over.

As I gazed out through the little window to the rough sea, just next to my desk, I began to think about what I have done wrong, the people that I’ve hurt and the sins that I’ve committed in the past. Will they and most importantly god ever forgive me? And here I am devoting my time and energy to work.. *sigh*

I started reflecting upon moments of my life. I get heated easily over things that I couldn’t change and for the things that I couldn’t get them to be the way I wanted them to be back then. The anger was so immense and the tense was volcanic at the time. Frustrated and upset I was. I wished I could have done more but I should have been more mature about all the things around me and respectful towards the people that I’ve met along the way. Like I said it’s been over 6 years now and interestingly enough, a lot of things have changed over time. A part of me is still that young raging juvenile and the other eagerly wanting to grow up. All this while I’ve wanted to make a difference, make a change in life, make something out of myself and ultimately make the right decisions. Then it struck my mind, maybe what I’ve gone through is something that was meant to be and how it’s supposed to be and all of it was never a mistake. Learning and making mistakes are parts of life too. We are all just human beings. Life has taken me through ups and downs, for me to have experienced the worst had made a stronger person though it’s still far ahead to be saying that.

I finally realized that I’m in a different environment now. So what’s really important in life? People don’t really care about what you have and what you don’t have. People won’t remember you for the money you had or how you looked. In the end, when your time here is over, people will only remember how you spent quality time with them and how you make them smile, laugh and feel special. Hey.. I’m a different person now.. a better person I guess. My work here? That’s part of my life too.. I turned out okay after all. I’ve got a decent job, people who care for me and love me for who I am. That’s good enough for me to achieve the best deals in life.

I just wanted to take this opportunity to ask for forgiveness from the people that our paths have crossed before.. for the mistakes, confusions, misunderstandings, differences and misjudgments..intentionally or unintentionally.. I'm truly sorry. It’s not that I’m emotional about it or anything like that.. it’s just that I feel that it’s the right thing to do. At least it'll help me clear my mind and get my inner peace. We sometimes need to stop clinging to our grievance and grudges and learn to forgive others. I hope the expression "Forgive and forget" is still valid.

4 days to go.. can’t wait to get back to my crown jewels.

Positive thinking is the way to go people and don’t ever take things for granted. You’ve only got one chance in your lives and don’t waste that opportunity. Live life to the fullest and cherish every moments in your life! Stay happy..

Al-Fatihah...

I would like to extend my deepest sympathies and heartfelt condolences to our beloved Prime Minister Dato Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi and his family.. the whole country feel your agony, frustration, and overwhelming sadness.. we are always behind you to support you in this time of bereavement... you have been a brave fighter.. and we hope you would stay strong.. To Allahyarhammah Datin Sri Endon.. my prayers go out to her.. I shall remember her and all those good things that she has done for our country.. may Allah bless her soul and let her rest in peace.. Al-Fatihah..

Too bad it was the last night..

It was such an amazing experience to be at the Sunrise Jazz and Rhythm Fest 2005 at Plaza Mont’Kiara's fountain courtyard.. Yups.. Malaysian jazz virtuosos performed live in front of a large crowd... locals and foreigners.. people like me and others mostly music enthusiasts I think.. It seemed to me that everybody was partying and enjoying themselves to the music that night.. people came to be entertained.. they couldn’t care less about the haze.. everybody was there to have fun.. with their families and friends.. and all was good..

The festival that kicked off that night had jazz regulars like percussionist Steve Thornton and Aseana Percussion Unit (APU) appearing alongside many others.. ( I don’t know who.. but I think they know how to play musical instruments well and they were good.. hehe..) It was jam-packed with people.. they were dancing.. cheering.. clapping their hands and snapping their fingers to the melody.. and that night.. I could see young and old came together.. enjoying the music that they like.. all sharing their strong passions and interests towards the kinda tune that they love most.. Jazz.

We settled ourselves at the al-fresco dining tables and enjoyed the night.. yup.. all of us.. me.. jinn.. lan.. safwan and a few others which I don’t know who they were.. but they were cool people.. Anyways.. The Lost Plot played their acoustic numbers.. and APU (oh.. APU has a new member on board.. and she ( yes.. a female.. the only female member.. ).. is one hot babe..) played with their “gendangs” and all other percussion instruments.. all played at maximumest (haha..is there such word??) maximum decibels.. I was just impressed upon how they made use of various kinds of instruments to create a really unique sound.. truly fascinating!! combination of instruments like cello, guitar, bass, saxophone, trumpet, flute, clarinet, drums etc.., and various jazz styles which was truly something extraordinary and sounded really good too.. and rhythms combining with traditional and new jazz to create a cultural blend was absolutely brilliant!! Simply amazing!! Well apart from the twinkle-twinkle little star session.. everything else was excellent.. ( If you were there.. you would know what I’m talkin about..) I think this kinda event would be a great showcase to promote local music talents and create a platform for many young talents to be more creative and develop their potentials.. and I believe it has done so well..

Anyways.. If you are not into Jazz.. then I suggest that you attend next year’s festival.. I’m not really a fan of Jazz but the music’s pretty soothing and kinda good for you to get your brains turned off.. not literally turned off.. but more relaxed.. you know like getting your mind off of all the depressing and negative thoughts.. People (yg rockers-rockers.. hehe..) say that by listening to soft and easy listening music.. (well in this case Jazz..) can make you drop off to sleep easily.. but trust me.. that’s not true at all!! It’s so good that it can make you stay awake all night long.. without caffeine!! Hehe.. I don’t know but it just makes you feel good inside.. Remember..Feeling good about yourself on the inside will make you feel great on the outside.. Well I think the whole thing was great and the chance for me to be there to experience it myself has been all worth while.. I really really look forward to the next Jazz Festival..